A complete journey of ups and downs. A 360 degree turning point of my life. I can just say that life did not go as I wished for in the beginning. This was the year I sort of found and lost love. Okay well, not that I lost "love", I just lost someone who I defined as my true love. I was in a turmoil that I never thought I'll ever be able to overcome. You know, I'm just not shy to admit that I'm one of those old school girls who believe that once you've found someone you love, that's it, you have to be with him till death do you'll apart despite all the pain and disrespects. Life tore this cognition in me. Today I question myself on how dumb I could be to allow anyone at all to walk all over me?? But again, experience is the best teacher and I have amazing parents who supported me emotionally throughout whatever I was going through in my relationship. That was the greatest strength I had by me and I'm ever grateful for that.
Moving on is never as easy as it sounds. Literally!! I used to feel like slapping anyone who used those words to so call motivate me in order to feel better. I definitely appreciate their intention of helping me out but you know .. Just move on, doesn't work. Trust me. Sleeping isn't the same anymore, waking up isn't the same anymore, daily routine isn't the same anymore, but the worst part is being you doesn't feel the same anymore and it's just as sad as it sounds. I can just say that I learnt it the hard way. It was completely unhealthy on my side as I lost myself in the process of learning how to love another human. Yes, stupidity at its height, I agree.
What I least expected was the awareness that unfolded inside of me after this so called heartbreak that caused bruises and blisters on my tiny little heart. First of all, I started appreciating myself from end to end and I realized how much I have taken myself for granted all this while. The whole question raised here was how was I ready to show any other person some love without me giving myself even a pinch of love to myself. I honestly never loved myself and I'll easily point out all my flaws if you ask me about myself. From feeling inferior about my height to feeling done with my size and weight. I just have things to pick on myself! Here was when I felt that heartbreak isn't as bad as I thought because it taught me self love and it gave me a whole lot of clear picture to always prioritize myself before anything or anyone!
I was called cold just when I began prioritizing myself. We've assimilated ourselves so well to hurt and disrespect ourselves but to cherish and look after others so well. Ignoring ourselves isn't right, it is just not okay. Correcting this one major thought pattern in me, I had a whole twist in my life. I started appreciating every single moment in my life and I looked forward for everyday in my life. Battling a heartbreak, you'll naturally feel you're alone in this, which is true in a way because nobody feels your pain in the same frequency. Fortunately, you learn many many many things that prepares you for the biggest battle, called Life.
We're humans and we exist in flesh and blood, which is why we feel pain but the decision to actually feel, experience, imbibe, express, suppress pain is totally ours. Yes. Read that again if you need to and you'll know that you can rewrite your own life. As for me, I'm a brat when it comes to me dealing with hurt. I'll show all possible tantrums and emotions to get all possible attention from my loved ones but it's okay. It's okay to feel everything deeply. Never allow anybody to make you feel that you're being ''too much'' just because you're expressing your pain. Everybody has their own ways of dealing with hurt, pain, depression but oh no no, don't slide into depression because that's just another psychological myth. Trust me, I'm a Psychology student and depression is just a myth.
Life has been ferocious yet compassionate to me here forth as I began standing up for myself and acknowledging my very presence in the world. And, oh please.. Let me be very clear that I'm not promoting breakups. I'm sharing the insights I received in life when I went through a heartbreak and how I actually felt I was reborn. The pain of betrayal of trust was just worth it. I'm just open to life right now, whatever comes, I'll handle because I can manifest life the way I want it to be and I've God by my side 😊
Many may be able to relate to what I've penned down so far and many might even think it's just crap but you see, it will definitely be of small help for at least 1 out of 10 people who's battling with love or life just the way I did back then. You know, I've always reminded myself with the words from my Master that Relationships Start from You! You've to choose you before you choose the other person. In a nutshell, I can say that heartbreak has polished me in a way I have become a hero by myself, for myself. Life isn't limited to what we think is Love. Depths of love are yet to be discovered.
I'll be back with another story of how love found me again and how it actually stayed, is staying, will always stay this time! My Master beautifully says that Love is the energy that gives and you should just go on adding to the live of others. Even if I have helped you a 1% through my blog, it is love with responsibility. Just don't limit love to boyfriends, girlfriends, heartbreak, betrayal and any other possible word relating to love in this new age.
Till then, see you! 💓
Moving on is never as easy as it sounds. Literally!! I used to feel like slapping anyone who used those words to so call motivate me in order to feel better. I definitely appreciate their intention of helping me out but you know .. Just move on, doesn't work. Trust me. Sleeping isn't the same anymore, waking up isn't the same anymore, daily routine isn't the same anymore, but the worst part is being you doesn't feel the same anymore and it's just as sad as it sounds. I can just say that I learnt it the hard way. It was completely unhealthy on my side as I lost myself in the process of learning how to love another human. Yes, stupidity at its height, I agree.
What I least expected was the awareness that unfolded inside of me after this so called heartbreak that caused bruises and blisters on my tiny little heart. First of all, I started appreciating myself from end to end and I realized how much I have taken myself for granted all this while. The whole question raised here was how was I ready to show any other person some love without me giving myself even a pinch of love to myself. I honestly never loved myself and I'll easily point out all my flaws if you ask me about myself. From feeling inferior about my height to feeling done with my size and weight. I just have things to pick on myself! Here was when I felt that heartbreak isn't as bad as I thought because it taught me self love and it gave me a whole lot of clear picture to always prioritize myself before anything or anyone!
I was called cold just when I began prioritizing myself. We've assimilated ourselves so well to hurt and disrespect ourselves but to cherish and look after others so well. Ignoring ourselves isn't right, it is just not okay. Correcting this one major thought pattern in me, I had a whole twist in my life. I started appreciating every single moment in my life and I looked forward for everyday in my life. Battling a heartbreak, you'll naturally feel you're alone in this, which is true in a way because nobody feels your pain in the same frequency. Fortunately, you learn many many many things that prepares you for the biggest battle, called Life.
We're humans and we exist in flesh and blood, which is why we feel pain but the decision to actually feel, experience, imbibe, express, suppress pain is totally ours. Yes. Read that again if you need to and you'll know that you can rewrite your own life. As for me, I'm a brat when it comes to me dealing with hurt. I'll show all possible tantrums and emotions to get all possible attention from my loved ones but it's okay. It's okay to feel everything deeply. Never allow anybody to make you feel that you're being ''too much'' just because you're expressing your pain. Everybody has their own ways of dealing with hurt, pain, depression but oh no no, don't slide into depression because that's just another psychological myth. Trust me, I'm a Psychology student and depression is just a myth.
Life has been ferocious yet compassionate to me here forth as I began standing up for myself and acknowledging my very presence in the world. And, oh please.. Let me be very clear that I'm not promoting breakups. I'm sharing the insights I received in life when I went through a heartbreak and how I actually felt I was reborn. The pain of betrayal of trust was just worth it. I'm just open to life right now, whatever comes, I'll handle because I can manifest life the way I want it to be and I've God by my side 😊
Many may be able to relate to what I've penned down so far and many might even think it's just crap but you see, it will definitely be of small help for at least 1 out of 10 people who's battling with love or life just the way I did back then. You know, I've always reminded myself with the words from my Master that Relationships Start from You! You've to choose you before you choose the other person. In a nutshell, I can say that heartbreak has polished me in a way I have become a hero by myself, for myself. Life isn't limited to what we think is Love. Depths of love are yet to be discovered.
I'll be back with another story of how love found me again and how it actually stayed, is staying, will always stay this time! My Master beautifully says that Love is the energy that gives and you should just go on adding to the live of others. Even if I have helped you a 1% through my blog, it is love with responsibility. Just don't limit love to boyfriends, girlfriends, heartbreak, betrayal and any other possible word relating to love in this new age.
Till then, see you! 💓
Comments
Post a Comment